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1. mama!au
"On my last trip to the North terrains, well, before I land, the winds bank, and it's a steep tilt. I can't control the winds right just yet, mostly when I'm excited," Sehun says, or something like that, as they lay in bed face to face that morning, and he has one hand on Lu Han's hand, the other describing a graceful slope in the air between them. "So I was looking almost straight down, right into the sea, and the sea was so green, and there were little boats. I felt at peace."

The sun is watery against the windows. Their legs are together, bare.

Sehun closes his eyes, continues to speak. The air around them breezes lazily in and out, until strands are in their eyes. "That's how I feel right now, is what I'm trying to say."

Lu Han raises a finger almost imperceptibly, and the blankets raise itself to wrap around them both.

This is the last memory Lu Han has of Sehun young and at peace. The next afternoon, he remembers things in this order: a young mortal, barely of age, screaming insults at the heavens, cursing the wind and rains for tearing his family's hut down; Jongin's screams and Sehun's winds wrapping around a mortal's throat like an invisible coil. Lu Han remembers trying to move the mortal's fragile body with his mind, but Sehun's holds out his hand and he feels lightheaded, black spots dancing around his eyes, and --

When he wakes, Sehun is gone, and Jongin is cradling the mortal's dead body in his arms. The mortal's lips are pale and dry and gaping open.

"He completely lost it, that bastard," Jongin whispers, at once both empty and disbelieving. "Jongdae and I took him away before he could hurt anyone else."

"Let me see him." Lu Han believes - naively, stupidly - that he can save Sehun.

Jongin throws him a look, as if reading his mind. "You always knew he'd turn out like this," he accuses, "ever since that incident with the mortal child. It's about time you stopped making excuses for him."

"It's not his fault," Lu Han says, pleading. "Let me see him."

Jongin shakes his head twice. "I'm sorry."

Ninety-nine years pass, and he still thinks of what it would be like to ride on Sehun's winds: a smooth rocking motion, always forward, spine straight. He still wonders if Sehun will ever get out of that wretched prison. He tries to replicate the the winds sometimes; as his powers grow stronger over time, he moves rocks and levitates himself off the ground with them, but it's not the same. Never the same.

--

The first century of Sehun's imprisonment, Lu Han thinks of Janus, a god of the mortals' own imaginings, a two-faced god, with one pointed toward the past and the other looking forward. He doesn't think he'll ever know which face wears the grin and which one the frown, but he figures it's better to be kind to himself when evaluating the past, and stern when overseeing the future.

He focuses, instead, on moving the not-quite-solid masses inside the dark room. It's with these spheres - fashioned from Joonmyeon's water - that he lets his powers roam free.

He will not think of Sehun and the debris of what was once their life together. He will not think of Sehun holding him close, whispering into his neck - you're so beautiful i can't believe you exist imagine the universe in our hands us together until the end the very end - until their feet are already meters above solid ground. Will not think of Sehun slowly circling his fingers until small balls of wind form on his palm.

"Even if this body ceases, I will never be far behind," Sehun says once, eyes bright as he opens his palm and lets the winds escape, his hair flying wildly along with it. "As long as I exist, I will be the air you breathe."

"I share you with many mortals," Lu Han says, surrendering to the gentle push of the winds at his back. "You are the life of the earth. Just in case you forgot."

Sehun smiles as his winds floats Lu Han up, until Lu Han is looking down at him, their lips so near that they breathe each other's scent.

"You're the only one who can take the breath away from me," Sehun whispers between their lips, and Lu Han closes the gap, Sehun's arms wrapping around his waist as the winds beneath Lu Han descend.

"I'll never get used to this." Lu Han gestures to the space beside them, after he's back on his feet. "I'll never know how you do it. Flying is terrifying."

"I know it is for you." Sehun's eyes twinkle. "You didn't like going on Wu Fan's dragon very much. I still remember you shaking after that trip."

"Don't start. I almost blinded his dragon!"

"With a boulder you moved accidentally," Sehun laughs. "We all know the story behind that one."

Lu Han sniffs, turning his head away, indignant. "That was years ago. I'm hardly that young anymore."

Sehun is still laughing, but it slowly grows softer as he pulls Lu Han taut against him. "Don't worry," he whispers, his fingers curling tight around Lu Han's hips, "I've got you."

"I can take care of myself," he mutters against the crook of Sehun's neck, heat rising to his cheeks, and for a moment he thinks Chanyeol is coming near, because everything feels warm inside. "If anything I should be the one taking care of you. The four of you were born much later."

"Yes, and you have. I can do the same, if you'd let me," Sehun says. "I'm young, and not that strong yet. But give me time, and I can wipe the earth clean with a flick of my hand. Not a mortal soul can stay alive when I hold all the air they breathe in my palm."

"You're unbelievable sometimes." Lu Han shakes his head, but he's interrupted mid-way when Sehun kisses him again. He feels a little air escape and flow into Sehun's mouth, and he doesn't know if it's because of Sehun's power or Sehun himself.

When they pull away, small spots dance in his eyes.


2.
a week ago, he turns seventeen. it's to the tune of gaudily colored balloons, huge servings of double fudge chocolate cake and a chorus of happy birthday, sehun sung straight into his eardrums. jongin gives him - what else - a new pair of boxers; joonmyeon gives him men's perfume; chanyeol and kyungsoo give him a new game for his psp.

as for lu han, well.

"all i have are gift certificates," lu han says guiltily, wringing his hands, "i didn't know what to get you. you have nearly everything."

"it's okay, hyung." it really is. just having lu han there is enough for him.

lu han shakes his head, distress written on his delicate face. "it's not. here, i'm doing this on a solid i owe you," he says, then leans in and kisses sehun on the cheek.

it's honestly the best gift he's received that year.

--

he confesses to lu han on a thick, syrupy afternoon, prickly heat pouring over their skin in waves. after he finds himself continuously distracted by the sight of lu han's bare feet padding over the practice room. lu han loves to walk barefoot after rehearsal, claiming it cools his entire body; sehun thinks that wherever he treads, he owns.

"what's wrong?" lu han asks in concern, walking over to him with his bow mouth turned down at the corners. "you look hot. i think i have a meds in my kit, if you could just..."

lu han gestures to the bright yellow duffel sehun is currently leaning an arm against.

sehun opens his mouth, and nothing comes out. damnit, this happens far too often in lu han's presence, and it's stopped being funny a long time ago, though jongin and chanyeol and everyone else don't seem to think so.

"sehun-ah," lu han says, in his best authoritative voice. sehun has never thought it very effective. "move over so i can get the meds."

"hyung, wait, don't." as soon as the words leave his mouth, he instantly regrets it. lu han pulls back with a raised eyebrow. he takes a deep breath; it's now or never, isn't it? "i'm not sick. i'm just. i can't help it. i've always, um, always... liked you. i've tried to think about girls after meeting you, but they never stood a chance compared to you. you've always taken care of me, even though you're not the type to take care of anyone at all. and i."

this is probably word diarrhea at its finest. he avoids lu han's gaze altogether, looking only at feet - his own, not lu han's smooth white feet. he finds comfort in staring at nothing in particular at the floor, a habit he's cultured since childhood.

"if that's not okay, then it's okay. with me. i mean. i'm kind of failing at this, aren't i?"

lu han chuckles softly and tips sehun's face up with a finger beneath his chin. "kind of is an understatement."

sehun still can't look lu han in the eyes. he settles for staring at the bridge of lu han's nose. "i feel like i'm crossing a line. i mean, it's not like i get to see you everyday, but when i do, i just." he means to say blank out, but he becomes tongue-tied yet again when lu han pushes his own duffel aside to sit down beside him.

"if you hate me now, hyung," he continues, and why is he even still talking, "please tell me. i can take it. i think."

lu han gently takes hold of sehun's upper arm to let him know he's not going anywhere. "sehun-ah," he says, leaning in. sehun feels a flush blooming on his cheeks, spreading to the tips of his ears. "you're so cute. how could i possibly resist?"

"really?" sehun says in a rush, surprised. he clears his throat. "i mean... really? does this mean you... and i?"

he gestures to the space between them. lu han laughs and nods.

"hyung," he whispers, gulping, "i would really, really like to--"

lu han doesn't need wait to find out what sehun would really, really like to do; sehun captures lu han's mouth in a kiss, bringing a hand up to pull lu han even closer. it catches lu han completely off-guard, and he nearly falls back on the bench.

"mmph," he mouths, as sehun takes the lead, licking brazenly at the seam of lu han's lips.

then just like that, luhan pulls back abruptly, gasping. he's staring at sehun with wide eyes, like he couldn't believe the last minute just happened.

sehun feels like sinking into the floor. "i'm sorry. that was too much, wasn't it?"

lu han is unnervingly silent for a while.

"that was very wet," lu han says carefully. "you were one breath away from sucking the life out of me."

"oh." forget melting into a puddle on the floor; sehun feels like dying.

"practice makes perfect," lu han sighs, pressing a soft kiss on sehun's now stiff mouth. "you'll have time to learn."

"with you?" sehun ventures, daring to hope.

"with me," lu han replies resolutely, like the answer couldn't have been anything else.

--

they have a full-fledged makeout session a few weeks after. it would have taken only a few days after the confession, but both of them are busy with regular dance practice, lu han even more so because his voice actually has potential.

it happens as they're taking a break between rehearsals, leaning up against the walls in the fading light of the cloud room. sehun's been on his feet for ten hours, wearing what may possibly be his ugliest pair of sweatpants, and his whole body aches. they've been doing routines together all day, and judging by the slope of lu han's shoulders he doesn't feel any better.

"hyung," he begins, "do you want to..."

lu han's head is tilted to one side, his eyes half-closed with tiredness, and for a moment all sehun wants to do is hold him and press a kiss to that pale, sweaty temple. he stares at the light on lu han's cheekbones, at the dark sweep of his long lashes, and wishes that lu han will just let him.

"come on, then."

"what?" he says, with a jerk.

"come on," lu han repeats, straightening up, and sehun heaves himself away from the wall with great effort. "do it. kiss me already. i'm too tired to do the whole sexy pushing-back-against-the-wall thing on you, so it's your cue."

sehun is a little shocked, but then snickers at lu han's thinly veiled reference to his own lazy streak. "your wish is my command, hyung," he says, flashing a brief smile before pushing lu han back by the shoulders and leaning in.

he sees lu han's eyes flutter closed in that second before their lips touch, and feels lu han's hand gently cupping around the back of his neck to pull him closer.

this time, lu han smiles against his mouth before they go up for air.

"how was it?" he asks, nervous as lu han holds his gaze for a second. it feels like a lifetime later when lu han's face splits into a wide smile.

"much better than the last time," he says, fondness and relief warring in his tone. "you've been practicing without me, haven't you?"

"n-no!" how could he insinuate such a thing? as if he could ever think of anybody else while lu han was being this ridiculously beautiful, perfect human being everyday. wait. unless he meant - "do you... do you mean with my pillow? does that count?"

lu han bursts out laughing. "you're adorable," he wheezes, ignoring sehun's glare as he evens out his breathing. "sehun, stop it. please."

"stop what?" he narrows his eyes.

"being so cute," lu han says, leaning in, and sehun protests half-heartedly even as lu han presses a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

"as if you can talk," he mutters. "people think you're younger than me all the time. how's that for cute. next thing you know they'll think i'm the one babysitting you."

"so? isn't that part of the mystery behind us?" lu han asks, and licks at sehun's lower lip in a way that totally did not make the blood flow south. "they'll never know that you're actually the one fucking me into the mattress every night."

sehun dimly registers the last few words - fucking into the mattress every night but wait we actually haven't; by the time he absorbs half the meaning they're kissing open-mouthed again, lu han making soft, little noises at the back of his throat, and nothing else seems to matter very much.



3. robot selu

ever since he was a kid, sehun had known his uncle jinyoung kept something inside his bedroom. at the age of five, he hears the high-pitched bleeps of the thing coming to life, its mechanical monotone carefully adjusted through the years until it was that of boy's. sehun eventually refers to it as a he, although he's only ever had the voice to go by.

sehun has never seen him. his uncle has never allowed him to, only growling when sehun once asks to have a look at it in all his childlike curiosity.

sehun has only heard snatches of his voice in all his seventeen years; sometimes it was japanese, sometimes korean, sometimes english. when sehun is twelve, his uncle jinyoung buys a chinese language upgrade disc one day and leaves it on the dining table. the next day, he hears him speaking in soft, lilting mandarin.

"lu han," his uncle says from behind the door, unsure, "is your base language data still intact?"

a whirr and hum. "yes," he says, in mandarin.

"good."

he doesn't understand, but it still sounds nice, sehun thinks. his uncle shares the sentiment, because he keeps the setting for years.

sehun has come to accept that his uncle would rather shoot himself in the foot than let sehun see him. really, sehun has better things to care about, like university applications, dorm-hunting and hanging out with friends. no, he's not curious.

not at all.

--

"i'm going out of town for a week," his uncle says, a week after he finds out he's been accepted to his university of choice. that night he planned to go sneak out a few beers with jongin, but then his uncle surprises him with this.

"what? but i'm--"

"take care of lu han. manual hardcopy's beside the tv, emailed you a softcopy in case you lose it."

sehun is floored when his uncle hands him a piece of paper with 19900420 written in angry red. "where do i--"

"nape area. that's your personal password. i already programmed him to do two things: first, speak korean so you can actually communicate; two, recognize your password and respond to your commands accordingly." his uncle adjusts his tie and picks up two suitcases."

"... i'm just going to clean him, right?" he didn't want to do any robot babysitting, thank you very much.

his uncle smirks. "consider it a graduation present. do whatever you want with him, but do not get him dirty."

--

an hour after his uncle leaves and sehun has reasonably calmed down, he decides to go in. couldn't be that switching his uncle's personal robot on and off, right? he texts jongin that he'll be a little late, and could he please get the samgyupsal and beers ready before midnight because he has to polish his uncle's robot butler or something.

he switches the light on and is surprised to find a boy sitting on his uncle's king-sized bed. he had thought that it would look a little weird, with bolts and screws visible on its face and limbs, but it was... real. or looked completely real, at least. he's completely frozen in place, back stiff, his face a perfect picture of lovely stillness. sehun is a little amazed at how pretty it is, then remembers that he has a job to do.

he approaches carefully. "hi," he says slowly, a hand finding its way to the robot's nape. he perches a knee on the edge of the bed. "god, i hope you're not that hard to switch on and off."

"no."

sehun jumps back. the robot's head tilts towards him, blinking. "you've been turned on all this time?"

"yes."

sehun peers carefully at the robot's impassive face. "oh-kay." he takes a deep breath. "lu han - that's your name, right? - okay, lu han. i'm going to turn you off so i can clean you. sounds good?"

"yes."

sehun sighs. this robot was dumb as balls. pretty, but stupid. maybe he had a special setting for buter duties or something. whatever, he should probably go read the manual tomorrow. wanting to get out of there as soon as possible, he presses hard on the center of lu han's nape. a hologram blinking password? comes up, and he types the password. he expects lu han to go limp on the bed as the glow surrounding his life-like skin disappears.

a whirr and hum.

lu han suddenly stands up in once graceful move, a smile lighting his face.

"what the hell, you're supposed to be turned off by now," sehun says, panic creeping into his voice as he braces his hands on the edge of the bed. this robot is going to kill me isn't it oh god oh god i didn't even get to say goodbye to jongin and chanyeol and baekhyun shitshitshit.

"hello, master," lu han says, his eyes going dark. "what would you have me do?"

"um." sehun gulps. "what?"

lu han takes his shirt off. "if it pleases master," he says as sehun sputters, "my latest upgrade is a roleplaying feature. what occupation would master like? database has recorded 143 occupations available for roleplay. latest upgrade - prized whore in a chinese whorehouse."

"i don't think i'm in any position to be telling you what you should roleplay, jesus fuck what are you doing," sehun exclaims. lu han is now standing completely naked in front of him, his skin glowing with an unnatural sort of light, radiating heat.

"positions. processing march 27, 2011 upgrade." a flash that looks suspiciously like a series of codes passes through lu han's eyes. "database has recorded 56 positions available for use. latest upgrade - helicopter."

it suddenly sinks in, as lu han straddles his waist and begins to unzip his pants, that the password probably isn't for the on/off function.




4. prince sehun/fairy of the forest!lu han

Once upon a time, there was a just and wise king who ruled a prosperous kingdom. His queen bore him many sons, eleven in fact, but he favored his youngest.

The youngest prince, Sehun, was a child of unusual strength of mind and body, so much that he began training in the art of swordfight at a tender age, while the rest of his brothers preferred to pursue women or money or art. He was a good prince loved by the court and his people, and he served them with a sincere heart.

However, the peace was not to last. In Prince Sehun's sixteenth year, tragedy befell the kingdom when the neighboring kingdom of JYP invaded their lands. Their army fought valiantly, but was swiftly overcome with sheer force of numbers. His father and mother were murdered in the throne room, and his ten brothers subdued and captured as prisoners of war.

Prince Sehun drew his sword, and when he first struck, drew blood with a sharp cut on King JYP's cheek.

"Impressive," King JYP said, sneering. "I will spare you, Prince. You'll be useful to me."

"I'd rather you kill me," he said.

"Ah, and what good would that do? You're young and strong, and I don't have a son to carry on my legacy."

"If you spare me, then I'd rather you let me die in prison than be your heir," Sehun spat.

"No, dear boy," JYP said, and waved a hand. Magic? The vile king actually had--

Sehun slumped to the floor.

--

He awoke in his bed, the sunlight against his eyes.

"Good morning, son."

Sehun blinked as his father came into view. "Good morning, father," he yawned, stretching.

"How are you feeling?"

"Tired. Hungry. May I have have fruit and turkey for breakfast? I'm not sure why, but I'm famished."

"Of course." His father's voice sounded different, a strange amalgamation of foreign and familiar. "Anything for my only son."

--

Prince Sehun grew cold as the sun began to set on the horizon. The hovering birds above the tree he had been leaning against for the past three hours were already singing that shrill yet entrancing melody he thought only existed in stories of yore.

Well and good, he thought with no small amount of displeasure. He was already spent from waiting, pretending as it to be severely weak in the hopes of inducing the legendary fairy of the forest to appear. He had made it his knights' task to beat him black and blue until his he was bruised and bloody all over, but not enough to hinder the accomplishment of his task.

He needed to capture that fairy.

The birds' song had begun reaching for dizzying heights, summoning the being. Yes, go on, sing you unholy creatures. Sehun closed his eyes and waited.

And just as in the legends, the fairy appeared in a glow of green and gold. Sehun knew from the stories that he only appeared on this day, place and time. The reason why still evaded the sorcerers up to this day.

"Help me, great fae of the forest," Sehun pleaded. The fairy tilted its head toward him in an almost languid move, but his eyes were startled. The fairy was powerful, yes, but did not have the sight of the deities. He could not see what was, what is and what will be, and that was to be his downfall at Sehun's hands. "I was mugged by a band of thieves. They left me to die without so much as a gold coin tossed my way. Please take pity on me."

Even from a distance, Sehun felt the steady heat, the waves of magic and light emanating. The fairy's power was said to be of great magnitude, the sort that frightened even the oldest, most learned sorcerers in the kingdom. But he was no gray-haired, cowardly sorcerer - he was a Prince on a mission.

He was coming closer. Now with a better view, Sehun saw that the fairy's feet were inches off the ground, his entire upper body tilting forward as he floated to Sehun.

The fairy stopped in front of him and said nothing, only looking at him in curiosity.

"Please," Sehun begged.

"What would you have me do, Prince?"

When he spoke, it was musical, like he could get drunk on the sound of a word alone. This fairy had to be already weaving some kind of spell on him. Stories were told to him as a child, stories that painted the fairy as a cursed beast preying on the ignorant and the helpless, subdued them with magical restraint and ate their flesh as means to strengthen his magic.

But Sehun knew better. The fairy was not a beast, and those were only tall tales designed to keep children from wandering into the forest at night. The fairy was in truth a pleasant creature, kind to weary and injured travelers. But the fairy's voice echoed like a gentle ripple of seduction in his mind, and Sehun let himself wonder for a second whether the fairy truly did feast on human insides.

The fairy was also known by many names; his father called him the fae of immortality. A kiss from the fairy was said to grant a person another day to live, but no one had ever ascertained the truth of that particular bit of legend.

"May I have a kiss from the good fairy?" Sehun dared.

Better to ask now than never. Sehun plaintively braced a hand on the ground, and a hand on his pocket, forcing himself to sit up. It was meant to be a pitiful show of the extent of injury, but it was really so that if the fairy refused, Sehun would be ready to spring to action and capture him. The elven collar was in his pocket, the only thing that could weaken a fairy's power enough to capture it. It was especially crafted for the purpose, and he was not going to waste the chance to use it, not when he was so close.

The fairy's mouth and eyes crinkled at the corners. Sehun felt the amusement radiating like warmth. "You are surprisingly bold, young prince."

"Does that please the good fairy?"

"Yes," the fairy said pleasantly, his smile growing wider. He was so beautiful that it almost planted seeds of guilt in the recesses of Sehun's heart. Almost. The fairy drew closer, pressing a warm hand gently to Sehun's neck - no doubt feeling the frantic pulse there - and Sehun drew in a breath as he took in the fairy's glowing features.

"You are more beautiful than any girl I've ever laid eyes on," Sehun blurted out.

The fairy seemed amused as he laughed, a tinkling sound that felt like a caress down his spine. "You are not the first to tell me. But you know I am not swayed by such praise, do you not?"

"Of course," Sehun said.

The fairy's fingers slid down off of Sehun's neck and to his collarbone. He leaned in, and Sehun felt fire ignite in his belly. "Live one more day," the fairy whispered, and pressed lips upon his.

It was - god. It was hot breath and raw magic, music and madness, want and need --

It was what he'd been waiting for.

Despite Sehun's weakened state, he managed to grasp the fairy's neck in the middle of the kiss (as much as he was hesitant to end it) and worked quickly to fasten the collar around his neck. Almost immediately, the fairy withdrew from his hold as if scorched, eyes flashing with a gamut of emotion - hurt, betrayal, anger.

"I'm sorry," Sehun said.

The fairy opened his mouth as if to scream--

The glow surrounding his being disappeared. He fell into Sehun's arms, unconscious and powerless.




5. art student lu han + sir not appearing in this fic sehun

"I give up!" Lu Han declares, storming into his Yixing's shared dormitory with a huff, throwing himself headfirst into his single bed. He muffles into his pillow, "I'm never going to ask for help from those asshole photography majors again. Ugh. I need a drink."

"You know I heard approximately nothing, right?" Yixing says absently, earbuds on. He's on his laptop, video chatting with that tall, scary boyfriend of his again. "Ge, your face is gonna get puffy if you stay in that position."

"Who cares?" Lu Han says despondently, which comes out like garbled alien language.

Yixing has known him for so long that he manages to understand anyway. "Your future date is going to care."

"What does it matter," Lu Han says just as he flips himself over and lays on his back. "I'm never going to get a date at the rate this thesis is going. Which, by the way, is at the rate of zero progress."

"Maybe if you sucked up just a little more to that Jongin kid," Yixing suggests, unhelpfully. He's heard this advice from almost everyone, including his freaking adviser. But there's no way in hell he's going back to into the lion's den, especially not when he just turned down that kid's none-too-subtle attempts at hitting on him.

Lu Han sits up, crossing his arms and pouting at Yixing's general direction. "That kid," he starts, "tried to grab my ass as I was leaving. Then said he'd model for me himself if I agreed to go out with him. What the fuck."

"That's a good idea," Yixing says, and Lu Han openly bawks. "You're single, anyway. And really, ge, you could use a boyfriend. It's tiring to have to pick your wasted self up from some guy's apartment every month, and listen to you rant in the middle of the night about the latest stunt your 'special friends' did or didn't do."

"You want me to have Kim Jongin as a boyfriend," Lu Han says, deliberately slow.

"Only until you finish your thesis."

"But he's a dick."

"And that's different from your last two boyfriends, how?"

"That's not the core issue here," Lu Han sputters. And Yixing had the nerve to say all this while he was glued to the laptop screen, no less. That boyfriend must be a bad influence on his normally sweet best friend. "I need that nude model, and fast, or else I'm never going to graduate."

"So get Jongin. You can dump him after your thesis is done." Yixing suddenly grins like an idiot at the screen, then laughs and waves a hand in front of him. Lu Han really wants to tell him he looks ridiculous. "No, I'm not that cruel normally, I swear. Just for today. Lu Han's having guy troubles again."

"Not in the way you think, Chao Fan or whatever your name is, latest boyfriend of Yixing who I haven't personally been introduced to yet!"

"Wu Fan can't even hear you," Yixing says serenely, a goofy smile on his face. "C'mon, ge. Reconsider, please. If Jongin is your only option, you have to get him."

"I'd rather off myself," he says petulantly. Okay, Jongin was not at all a bad-looking kid, but he could do without the creepy looks and 'accidental' touches. "I'll ask one of his other friends tomorrow. Chanyeol, I think?"

"Okay, but I still think you should get Jongin. He's practically throwing himself at your feet."

"He could throw himself off a cliff," Lu Han mutters, and Yixing purses his lips disapprovingly, almost as if telling him, this is what you get for not having a decent boyfriend, the kind that makes mixtapes and plans surprises and brings you coffee at 3am just so you can finish the last leg of your latest painting assignment.

"Don't space out on me," Yixing sighs, mock-dramatic. "If you start drooling, I'm not talking to you anymore."

Lu Han chucks a pillow at Yixing's face, yanking an earbud out in the process.

--

"Yixing," Lu Han says with a manic gleam in his eyes, grabbing at his shoulders, "you could be my model. Why have I never thought about this before? You dance so you have an amazing form, plus you have a nice torso, chest and ass! You're perfect!"

"I think I'm going to have nightmares from being described like a chicken on the chopping board," Yixing deadpans, carefully prying Lu Han off him. "But thanks. I didn't know you thought about me that way."

"What. What. No! Ugh, Yixing, gross." They were best friends! He was getting desperate, damn it.

"Seriously, who cares if you were sexually harassed," Jonghyun opines, and Lu Han chokes on his lunch, "you need that nude model and he's the only one who can hook you up with one at short notice. He even offered to be one himself! You gotta step up your game, suck up that ego and beg like you mean it."

"How are we friends again?" Lu Han asks incredulously. Seriously, how?

"To help your cause, wear something appropriately slutty," Yixing supplies. Yixing has a lot of unhelpful advice lately; that boyfriend of his must be really getting to him "Like those cut-out jeans I saw Lee Taemin wear to the art fair. The slits were up to his thighs." He demonstrates by cutting an imaginary line from his knee up to his to the curviest part of his thigh.

At the sight, a rice ball attaches itself to Lu Han's throat. Yixing at least helps him drag it down via procuring water bottles, but Jonghyun only guffaws at him, and Lu Han thinks, I should really get better friends.

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